We have a lovely series of posts on the blog for this week, I think. But no one has submitted anything for today, so as I'm sitting here anyway, I'll pop one up.
I was talking to someone yesterday, about longer term feeding. She was comforted to hear I'd fed my son for so long (til three and a half) as she was already starting to get Comments from various well meaning friends and in-laws about the fact that she's still breastfeeding her eight month old.
So - a lot of people who don't have kids, aren't particularly delighted at the idea of breastfeeding, actively choose formula feeding - well, they do talk a lot about choice and how they don't want to feel pressured, and they'd never criticise a mother for breastfeeding, so please respect their choice to use artificial milk and so on.
And yet, despite the fact that people who choose artificial milk feel that breastfeeders have the moral majority, breastfeeding mothers seem to come under a lot of pressure all the same. Are you still breastfeeding? If it's that difficult, would you not give her a bottle? Isn't it time to stop now? When are you going to stop?
It can feel like a lot to counter, sometimes.
We all do think we know best about everything, though, I know. God knows I'm guilty of well meaning judgmentalism all the time - you might even say it's my default state.
So how to get your friends and loved ones to stop pressuring you?
I recommended a few tips - the same, calm, assertive statements over and over again, 'Thanks, but we're doing fine as we are', and some pointed vagueness.
'When are you going to stop breastfeeding him?'
'Ah, soon enough.'
I got away with that one for a couple years :)
If you really want to be supportive, ask questions. Mothers will be delighted to inform you. Hey, you could even go look stuff up, like most mothers do, to reach the conclusions they come to.
Also, unless mothers are doing something harmful like feeding their babies coke in a bottle, or toxic stuff, and allergens etc, I think the rule is to accept that people can feed their children as they feel is right - discuss things you've read, discuss your opinions, ask questions... but resist the urge to tell a woman you know better than she does when it's time to stop feeding her child. That's not so breastfeeding friendly.
*Pic from here.
I was talking to someone yesterday, about longer term feeding. She was comforted to hear I'd fed my son for so long (til three and a half) as she was already starting to get Comments from various well meaning friends and in-laws about the fact that she's still breastfeeding her eight month old.
So - a lot of people who don't have kids, aren't particularly delighted at the idea of breastfeeding, actively choose formula feeding - well, they do talk a lot about choice and how they don't want to feel pressured, and they'd never criticise a mother for breastfeeding, so please respect their choice to use artificial milk and so on.
And yet, despite the fact that people who choose artificial milk feel that breastfeeders have the moral majority, breastfeeding mothers seem to come under a lot of pressure all the same. Are you still breastfeeding? If it's that difficult, would you not give her a bottle? Isn't it time to stop now? When are you going to stop?
It can feel like a lot to counter, sometimes.
We all do think we know best about everything, though, I know. God knows I'm guilty of well meaning judgmentalism all the time - you might even say it's my default state.
So how to get your friends and loved ones to stop pressuring you?
I recommended a few tips - the same, calm, assertive statements over and over again, 'Thanks, but we're doing fine as we are', and some pointed vagueness.
'When are you going to stop breastfeeding him?'
'Ah, soon enough.'
I got away with that one for a couple years :)
If you really want to be supportive, ask questions. Mothers will be delighted to inform you. Hey, you could even go look stuff up, like most mothers do, to reach the conclusions they come to.
Also, unless mothers are doing something harmful like feeding their babies coke in a bottle, or toxic stuff, and allergens etc, I think the rule is to accept that people can feed their children as they feel is right - discuss things you've read, discuss your opinions, ask questions... but resist the urge to tell a woman you know better than she does when it's time to stop feeding her child. That's not so breastfeeding friendly.
*Pic from here.
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